Friday, June 20, 2008

Steven Spielberg is the greatest filmmaker of all time or: People who don't like Steven Spielberg should eat their face

It's official. Steven Spielberg is the greatest filmmaker of all time. There is no arguement. And for those who would like to try and argue, first read these reasons as to why Steven Spielberg is the greatest filmmaker of all time.

1. He invented the Summer Blockbuster. When he made Jaws in 1975, it was the first film to get a wide release, as opposed to being slowly released, city by city. It was the first film to cross the 100 million dollar mark.

2. He uses John Williams as the composer in almost all of his films. Hum the theme to Indiana Jones, Hum the theme to Jurassic Park, Steven Spielberg films with great scores thanks to hiring John Williams.

3. He reinvented Children's cartoons. After the period of Bugs Bunny, Spielberg stepped in and created shows like Tiny Toons, Pinky and the Brain, Animaniacs, Freakazoid. If you were a kid in the 90's you know you enjoyed at least one of these shows.

4. He reinvented the summer Blockbuster. After a stretch of years without a decent summer film, Spielberg released Jurassic Park, the same year he released Schindler's List, making 1993 one of his most succesful years in his career.

5. He has won 2 Oscars for his achievement in directing. For Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan. He has been nominated for several others.

6. He is a family man. Whenever his kids watches TV or movies, he watches it with them, ensuring quality and appropriate entertainment.

7. He understands the art of a trademark. Go watch a Steven Spielberg film that has a prominent, lead father figure that has no faults at all. You won't find it. Every Spielberg film has an absent or broken Father figure in his films.

8. He's a Jew. And only a Jew can make Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers.

9. He's dominated several film genres with authority. Family-E.T. Action- Indiana Jones. Sci-Fi- Close Encounters of the Third Kind Drama-Schindler's List War-Saving Private Ryan Comedy- The Terminal Thriller-Minority Report Biopic-Catch Me if You Can.

10. He invented the Medal of Honor Video Game Series. Do you know any other hollywood directors who have invented a successful video game series?

11. He started Dreamworks. It is one of the biggest film companies in Hollywood, releasing some of the greatest films in the past 10 years.

Now you might be saying. "But Ryan! Steven Spielberg was the Executive Producer for Transformers, how could he have his name connected to that schlock?" Well to that I say this. Executive Producer only means he financed the film. He had nothing to do with the creative process.

So there it is. Steven Spielberg is the greatest filmmaker of all time, and if you disagree you can go eat your face.