Sunday, January 24, 2010

Business or Pleasure?

My Sony Vaio VGN FZ-140E Mainstream Laptop has been broken for two months now.

First I brought it to my school's technical support. They couldn't fix it.

Then I got a recovery disc sent to me from Sony themselves. After 2 weeks of mis-communication and deliberation, the disc finally got to me.

That didn't fix it either.

I have one last thing I can do, wipe the hard drive clear and replace the OS. If this fails me (which, luck tells me it will) I plan on switching.

Oh yes, I'm considering a move to Apple

"WHAAAAAAAAAA!" you must be saying. "Ryan Graves on a Mac?! It's unheard of!"

And it is. But lately, I've been getting so fed up with what PC's have been doing to me lately. First of all the laptop situation. Then windows machines in general do not accommodate digital art very well. And one thing is for sure, Literacy is now evolving into a digital, multi-modal medium that is fast becoming the norm. The need for a good tool for both composing and enjoying this needs to be the best that it can. Therefore, I am thinking of giving Apple a shot.

And it's not Windows alone that let me down. It's the combination of machines and software that did. I still love you Microsoft, but it's time for some discipline to get up to par.

But, remember this dear readers. I'm only giving Apple a shot, not the crown.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Atonement With The Father

There comes a time in every person's life that they consider who God is to them, if they even believe in God. I think this comes when you realize that life seems illogical to you. When certain things play out and you think to yourself, "Well, if this is what life looks like, what's the point of doing any of it?" Not to sound melodramatically suicidal there, but everyone has asked that question.

The beginning of that answers starts with the question of God. Because at the end of the day, being an atheist and say: "It's science, you just gotta accept it." is one step to close to manic-depressive nihilism which I will never subscribe to.

It seems almost illogical to live in a universe where there is no God. As you've seen on the movie posters of prequel films, we all know that "Everything must have a beginning." Of course, in this line of thought you have to accept that God technically never had a beginning because of his being infinite. But the world that WE live in, is one with beginning and end, and damn you if you don't bother to ask the question of why before you get to the end. Which is when you have that line of questioning of what the hell is going on here?

So, we have the world, created by some sort of agent, The Big Bang (Just as I wrote "The Big Bang" Geddy Lee from Rush just sang that same line, embematic huh?) can be a good explanation. That argument goes that all the matter of the universe was packed into one tiny ball. You have to ask then, where did that little ball, a ball of fate, come from? God seems to be a good answer. It's almost a cop-out answer, but scientists have nothing better and I still adamantly deny and sort of nihilistic answer.

OK, so you acknowledge the existence of God, but what does he mean to YOU? The devout Christian will cram a Bible down your throat and exclaim they won the debate. But it would be foolish of both parties to say that the bible today is exactly as God intended. The devout Christian must show a faith in the Word as the answer to the tough questions but also be honest enough to say that the Bible is not called the "Perfect" book, but merely the "Good" book.

For me, I've always been a Christian, but, never had I took a step back and asked "Do you REALLY believe all of this?" And I realized that maybe I've been pushed into it by my surroundings. By my parents, my teachers, peers, friends, culture, school, films, television, music, food. You're influenced by your surroundings much more than you realize.

So I took a step back, purged all beliefs. The majority of them are correct, which I realized later, but I didn't want any bullshit beliefs. It had to be real, true, and honest. To do that, I had to start from square one.

Which brings me to now. I'm in the process of rebuilding and I've hit a significant point in this construction. It's a huge epiphany that everyone should hear.

Truth transcends the mediums in which we trap them. Truth is not just found in the bible, but also the world.

Why is it like this? I don't know, the innatist and existentialists will have their reasoning. But it was in the study of myth and story that I discovered this fact.

The book is called "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" by Joseph Campbell. The book is a study of the thousands of years of stories that have accumulated. Campbell realizes that it's all the same story being retold over and over again. The constant in the story is the journey of the hero. He tracks the hero's journey and shows us what he must do. But then I came across the chapter entitled: "Atonement With The Father"

Basically, the hero must come to terms with the father, who is the doorkeeper of the vastness of the world. You must go through him to get to the world, the unconscious, the unknown. You must realize that the Father of Justice and Malice really is the Father of Mercy. Campbell lists several example including Christianity.

Do you know why we care about story? Because it's us. It's the progression of who we are on paper or screen. We see our fears and desires exhibited and the experience of story allows us to realize our identity. So why always the same story? Because we're human, we all function the same, with a brain that operates always the same way, for years and years.

What I realized then, is that I'm the hero. But so are you. We must all go on the journey of the hero. In my journey today, I atone with the Father and begin my path of understanding who he is. That path will be directed by the father from there on out, and I will continue my journey forevermore.

If I had to give you a moral to this story though, I would say don't be afraid to search for Truth outside of the Christian conglomeration. God's bigger than religion, and you've been designed to decipher truth properly, and this fearless search will bring you to Him, ready and able to follow.